SOUTH AFRICAAAA

sooo... as promised this is one of the entries from my journal from my only trip outside of the country... its my 5th or so entry from the trip and was written the morning after my first night sleeping in the bush.... if u dont know... bush=JUNGLE lol anywhoo enjoy

1-14-07

Damn, why are there so many bugs in Africa? I never would have thought that waking up after my first night of sleep in a cabin in the midst of the bush would feel so good. After you get over the initial shock of where you are and if you are in good company, you come to realize that all you really need at night is a place to lay down and rest. In America we have the luxury of actually being able to take luxuries for granted. Well, today we went back on safari. I wasnt really motivated to go because the previous day really drained me but it proved to be fun. I really had an opportunity to see once again animals the way they are meant to be. But now as i sit here and the thoughts of the animals fade away, two things remain, myself and the question; What are we meant to be? I dont even want to begin to try and answer that. After dinner we watched an amazing performance by some dancers. As i watched this i was thinking about a few things. One was what the hell should I write about. But then I thought, even though we come from two incredibly different worlds, we were all connected by dance. An expression of raw emotion at times, a common bond between us and them, Americans and Africans, young and old, black and white. It makes me think that in the world there should never be a them, just us, in the moment, living.


so yeah... those were a few of my thoughts... its hard to believe that was almost three years ago.... i want to go back :( or to go somewhere different... lifes an adventure man... sometimes i have to remind myself.... dont let anything get u down... cuz when youre up... you get to really appreciate your experiences...

so with that being said.. good day, live well, laugh always

insomniac

so its just after 4 oclock in the morning and im awake...this is a usual thing lately... i cant seem to get to sleep at a decent hour... tonight im watching this episode of "bad boys of comedy" on hbo that i recorded... its really not too funny so far but i cant watch anything else because my cable is cut off lol... (random fact... i really find it annoying when a comedian laughs after every joke)

but im thinking about this blog thing...

i know im really inconsistent with it but i cant seem to just do away with a perfect avenue to express myself lol

however i suffer from writers block whenever i sit down to write.. its crazy... i have all of these thoughts and topics swirling in my head all day but as soon as i get a pen... they disappear and i keep thinking of the same words over and over... i dont get it

BUT what ive decided to do... since i think it would be interesting... tomorrow morning im going to post some journal entries from my journal while i was in south africa... i havent read these entries in a long while so it will be just as interesting for me as it is for u lol... well hopefully.......


so until tomorrow... goodnight... live well... laugh always

YET AGAINNN.... im feeling kinda bloggy

So.. Ive neglected my blogging yet again... its not like anyone reads anyway but thats beside the point.... im in a blogging mood... just starting school again.... (im actually going to ATTEND this time hehe) doing things i never thought i would do... my life is getting interesting again so i figure why not write about it? soooo look out for regular posts... at least bi weekly... there will be quotes if nothing else.... until then....

"Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those that never happen"-James Russel Lowell

Love is....

Man ive been thinking...

i feel like love is more than that bond we see between a man and a woman
i feel like love is so much more its kinda scary
i feel like love is every thing
i feel like love is all of the things you pay attention to

time is so precious and we have such a limited ammount of it at our disposal
and we have no clue when it will run out
so the things we choose to pay attention to are the things we love
love is everything
love is life

MORE fun at work

I know i went crazy with a whole bunch of posts before and havent posted anything as of late... i guess i just havent had the urge to post anything.... maybe theres nothing interesting to share... HOWEVER... i just recorded this video at work... enjoy lol i did

Lol

I guess this is what rich prodogys do when they get bored lol...

so hes in a Mcdonalds in Paris before its even open lol

thinkin at work again....

So yeah... the airport is a crazy place man.... aside from the hectic air with people constantly moving.... the whole concept is wild....

every day i see hundreds and hundreds of people that i will never know.... the only thing i know about them is that theyre either coming to or leaving LA... where r they going? home? some far off land where theyll have the experience of a lifetime? will they ever make it back? sometimes i catch myself guessing where people are going... sometimes i wanna go with em

i like traveling... seeing new places... i love home... home is always home but the allure of other places... starting over and meeting new people with completely different life experiences... that can only lead to my growth... i want to see other parts of the country... other countries... see how people do things... i dont want american culture to completely consume my life... i want some sort of world culture to emerge i think... im not really too sure about what i want lately

sometimes i feel like i dont belong... sometimes i feel like i belong too much... the only thing that gives me solace is that i know where home is.... if i ever started to question that id be completely lost

sometimes i equate the airport to life.... you arrive with nothing but your own baggage and an idea of where you want to go... you see a lot of people you will never know... maybe even see a few that you do... some that will make a lasting impression of you... every once in a while you get harassed by the authorities... but after a while... you get to drop your baggage and just fly man... think about it... you FLY.... its really crazy once you think about it... you and all of those people... flying in the same direction for that moment in time.... all of your baggage mingled together and is a burden to no one.... and once you land... you pick up your share of the baggage... and head off on your own path..... thats life

untitled

That cop thing had me thinking... stereotypes and pre judging people really really affects our lives even if we dont notice it... i mean... whenever i hear stuff like "that makes black people look bad" or "thats how mexicans are" if i really think about it im like.. "noo that makes that fuckin idot look bad"

i mean... how can you just lump people into groups because of stuff they cant even control and expect all of these INDIVIDUALS to fit the group? 

the way i see it... nobody elses actions can define me and if you think some stuff that someone else did is a reflection of me because of my race... i just have a few words for u

GROW UP IDIOT!  

 

Terrible twos ha

lol.. never a dull moment when little kids are around i tell u.... im sitting down on the carousel trying to ichat with eevey but my stupid internet wont allow it... so then this little girl just comes up to me and starts playing with me... we were playing peek a boo and she would run every time i looked at her haha... maybe im just that scary... :-/ lol... but good times man... never a dull moment when kids are around... im just glad i dont have to take any home with me lol (whew)

its crazy to think i was once small like that... life is amazing... im gonna have fun watching my little brother grow up... hes two as well... this dude sits on the floor and plays with trucks for hours... who needs technology!!! lol

it was good to meet you alexia! 

Per request

This is for you gabs... i couldn't figure out for the life of me how to put the damn video up on facebook lol... soooooo heres your return video per your special request.. hope you enjoy lol

sorry i look so lazy... haha

Mucho Love 4 ya

Friday the 13th... oh yes it was

Now... its not like i dont like the police... its not that i hate all cops... thats ridiculous... police officer is an occupation... and with any occupation, the people we encounter in the field vary... but I dunno... is it the badge that changes people into disrespectful assholes or does the badge just attract every asshole that seeks a little bit of power? im not saying every cop is an ass... most i encounter actually address me with respect and they receive it from me... (also there's really no point in getting all belligerent with someone who has a gun and would get absolutely no jail time for shooting me lol) but these characters we encountered last night were a very special breed of ass.... (sorry i just feel like saying ass a lot)...

 sure i understand we were in the park after hours... we understood the risk and we probably should have never gone but we were having fun.... but man... even if you have a badge im not gonna stand by while you disrespect me and the people i love... i guess they thought we were just gonna be all subservient and take all the crap that they dished just because... 

SIKE!!!! Respect doesn't come automatically with that pressed green uniform, shiny badge and combat boots sir.... like every other stranger on the street you have to give respect to get it... and we can be just as rude as you... dont forget we are young and have attitudes anyway lol

 okay maybe i shouldnt have spit on the car (lmao that shit was funny and im a couple of peoples hero for that) but i mean theres no reason to have us with our hands on the burning hot hood for 2 hours after we have been searched and the cars searched... thats a little too far for me so of course we r gonna talk shit lol... and dance (just dance youll be okay badadudu [random]) 

oh yeah... but i dont like how much power police actually have over us in certain situations... in the wrong hands, abused, no wonder things happen the way they do... i mean theres a certain attitude you have to have being a cop and constantly in dangerous situations, that i understand... but where should we as citizens draw the line when we are being borderline harassed by the very people who are supposed to protect and serve?

 

"workin" continued

so here are those videos i was trying to upload yesterday... just actin a fool... shit gets boring gotta spice it up lol

... as you can see.... I NEED VISITORS!!!! lol

Even if you dont love what you do

 

So cam'ron really has me thinkin... how many people out there hate their jobs? i mean... if money wasn't such a big force in our lives how many of us would be doing what we are doing? Spending a day at a job you have no interest in can be your own living hell.. trust me... i know... but lately ive been trying (but a lot of times failing eh... part of life) to look at life a different way.... when i bring myself to work... im gonna really bring MYSELF to work... cuz when you think about it... life is much too short to waste moments... or to think you have.... i may not love money as much as the next man.. but i am really starting to value my TIME... its the most precious thing we have... So if i see yall at LAX.....

I have some damn videos but theyre taking forever to upload so eh... maybe ill put em up later tonight

ima do it

so its been about 4 months since ive posted something on here.... but i think im gonna start posting more regularly... no promises but i think i need an out let and a sort of litmus test to see if im as crazy as i think i am cuz ive been flirting with that line for a while haha... so stay tuned and subscribe because i think i have something in me the world needs.... Its all love 

November 5th.... the day after

So its november 5th 2008 and I'm conflicted.... On one hand I feel elation and hope that I've never felt before because we have a 47 year old african-american by the name of Barack Obama as our president elect... It makes me feel as if all of those times when my parents and grandparents told me I could be the president of the united states (until I "knew" better) is not just bullshit to motivate me... It is actually feasible... We are living history and it makes me feel like america has actually risen to the occasion for once.... That fills me with pride... I am proud to be an American... Even if African doesn't proceed it....

However.... On the other hand...The discriminatory and oppressive Proposition 8 passed which will once again outlaw homosexual marraige.... And what disgusts me more is that this egregious elimination of rights received support from 75 percent of the black vote... And the reason? Religious and personal beliefs.... Predjudice toward the gay community... Fear... Fear of the unknown...

To protect the sanctity of marraige we cannot allow this to happen! What about the 50 percent divorce rate? Hmmm? How about we say if u have been divorced once you cannot be married again... I don't think many of these religious fanatics would support that... It may hit too close to home... Can't protect the sanctity of marraige if it takes away my right... But those fags are godless and sinners so fuck them... Even if I fornicate and lie and cheat and steal... I'm holier than thou....

But I thought as black people, we if anyone would understand and empathize with the cause... Seeing as how the exact same religious nutso argument was used to keep us oppressed as a people... The bible was used to keep us from marrying and enjoying the government benifits that come along with it... Oh and u know what other argument they used? "What about the kids!!! If you allow them to marry the next step is having our kids exposed to this 'black equality' notion"... Do u get the picture!? I mean do u really GET it?

You know what I say? Fuck the sanctity of marraige I say PROTECT THE FUCKIN SANCTITY OF SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!

I mean when it comes down to it... To me... U may disagree if u wish... Actually I like it when people disagree with me... To me it comes down to the benifits that gay people would receive and we as californians have taken them away... Maybe its only right that we do this since bush has taken away many of our rights... I guess attitude really does reflect leadership..... But to me, It is not right... in fact its damn right repugnant... To discriminate because of some farfetched religious idea.... Keep your religion off of people... You can't force people to believe what u believe... So why legislate against them... I thought that's what this country was all about...

my mind be goin... comment please

I would really like to know what ppl think about these 2 random things I jotted on my blackberry... I just wrote where my mind took me but fuckit

The first...

Think about how many moments have slipped through the cracks of history because they weren't "noteworthy" what does it take to alter the course or even to be noted by history... My story is just as important as george washingtons or voltaires... Not to say that my impact on the larger scheme of things are anywhere near their achievements but every single moment that I or you even exist is important.. Ha... Think about how many regular people history has forgotten... Its enough to make u want to question your existance isn't it? Lol... Sorry I'm in a weird place right now but enjoy

And the second....
Maybe I can understand how white people can not see how something they are doing or saying can have racial undertones or be percieved by individuals or a community as racist... But what truly upsets me is how some people refuse to see the "minorities" point of view... Not to say that everyone should closely monitor their actions and words I just get mad when it is brought to the attention of someone and they flat out deny that our reasoning is valid... The history of the black man in america is a unique one... And maybe a lot of our insecurities stem from the fact that people just don't get us... Maybe I'm dead wrong and only speaking for myself but if you ever think about collective conciousness it is a hell of a thing... We black men have been castrated and made to feel inferior even when we do succeed... And sometimes its frustrating to me how even when people don't empathize with us we don't have the collective fortitude to empatize with them... Humans are so complex... And hilarious in their complexities lol

untitled

Okay so terri sent me a link to a blog that i might be interested in and here is the quote she loved

Ensayn

"Revolution, is in my opinion about evoluition, to re-evolve. It is the internal thought of a person that expresses itself externally. What you think you are, you will be. If you think you are ghetto, you will express this in an external fashion, whether it be a clothing style, tatoos, the way you speak, the way you act. This is the external expression of an internal thought process, on a micro-cosmic level. This same internal thought process expressed by the many becomes a culture, when many dress a certain way, speak a certain way and act a certain way, all based on an internal thought process. So, what outside entity came to a certain group of Black people and produced the thought in them that they are ghetto and this is how ghetto acts? How can one or a group overcome an ailment by pointing at the external factor? Does this exclude the fact that external factors influence the thought process? No. Yet, we are responsible for how we internalize an outside influence. One factor in the external influence on the Black Collective are our own so called “leaders” and “professors” that influence a certain percentage of Black people’s internal thought processes. When a “leader” or “professor” continues to express a slave mentality (I will elaborate in a post what a slave mentality is), then those that believe the “leaders” and “professors” are greater than themselves fall prey to an external influence that deters positive uplifing internal thoughts in the “weaker” collective. Example, on a different level. In order to avoid the flu or a cold one MUST strengthen their OWN immune system, an internal function. When a cold or flu virus attacks a person and overcomes them, then it is the failure of the person to strengthen the INTERNAL IMMUNE SYSTEM. When the immune system is strong an outside influence is of little to no effect. The same is true with the Black collective. The Black Collective must CLEAN OUT and strengthen INTERNALLY to repel negative outside attacks. The more we focus on the outside factor, the white man, the European cultural influence on the Black collective, and racism the “weaker” the collective becomes. And, the Black collective will be defeated by those very same external forces. Therefore, the focus MUST be on cleaning OUR internal thought process, cleaning out the down pressing “leaders” and “professors”, cleaning out our vocabulary, cleaing up the way we dress, act, and feed ourselves, and clean up our dirty ways to eachother. Then and only then can we defeat racism, European cultural influence, the white man and bad Black “leaders” “and Professors”."

to reiterate this is a QUOTE not my words however it does accurately verbalize what has been floating around in my head... i think it is amazing how some people can just seem to reach into your head, grab all of your crazy chaotic thoughts, and be able to word them so elloquently so effortlessly...

this is one of the reasons i love talking to people about real subjects not just music and fashion... i mean there is a time and place for those convos dont get me wrong i love talking music as much as the next man but i think in our generation there is a lack of discussion about real social issues....

take this for instance, i agree with this comment above... it is time for black people to start cleaning up "our own backyard" so to speak... in order for us to be respected as a community we have to get our shit together first....

now i dont know how to do this at all lol these are just some of the things i think about from time to time but i would appreciate feedback in the form of comments in order to assist me and you lol

what i do know is though is that change starts within we cannot let external forces dictate our course any longer...

this one quote from ghandi comes to mind... it may be a missquote so excuse me in advance, but it goes something like "Be the change you want to see"

just a thought

Lately I've been thinking about why I am so interested in history.... Like how is history relevent and why does it seem so boring when someone is trying to teach it to me? Well I've come to the conclusion that school can make even the most interesting subject boring as hell.... However I think history is so interesting to me because I look at it in a different way... History is now... We are living history... The point of history is to learn from in and to improve yourself or be forced to repeat it which is... Sadly... What we are doing... Repeating the same damn shit.... But think about it this way.... I think that it is amazing that even though we are learning about something like say the 60s in a history book while there are people who are alive and well who actually REMEMBER it... Who have EXPERIENCED it... People are living history... So to know yourself you have to know your history... Period... Take now for instance... We are headed for an extremely bad depression\recession... We are on the verge of electing the first black president, we are on the eve of a nuclear holocaust and there are genocides in progress that people seem to be ignoring.... WAKE UP PEOPLE! WE are LIVING history... How will our legacy be recorded in the history books? How will we be remembered? As a people who improved and progressed? As a people who did nothing? As a people who failed to pay attention and are doomed to repeat history? Hmmmm... You have to know where you came from to know where you are headed

whats in a name?

Man... Names are one hell of a thing to live up to... Whether it be the name given to u at birth or the things other people know you as... I mean even though people wouldn't admit it... Many of us live up to the names that others give us.... Its kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy... We need to be more careful what we call and expect of people because from my experience the line gets pretty blurry between us calling something how it is and the person acting out to live up to expectations... Does a person act like a nigga because he is one or because we call him one? Is that girl a bitch to you because that's how she is or is it because even if u don't say it to her face you're proclaiming her to be a bitch.... Is that girl really a slut or hoe? And who r u to make that call? I am a firm believer that language and words shape our perceptions no matter how u mean the word... That is why I personally chose not to use the word nigga to refer to one of my fellow brothers or sisters of any race... I absolutely refuse to put that burden on someone else and I ask respectfully that u don't place that on my shoulders... With a name like Najee which translates to savior from Arabic, I already have too much to live up to....

Open up

Sooo... lately... due to the intervention of a certain person lol.. ive really realized how closed minded people are... myself included... like.. have you ever thought why society has labled certain things bad and force fed people this over many many many years? what really makes these things "bad"?

like take drugs for instance.... why is it that the drugs that actually provide you with a frame of mind that actually allows you to think critically about things and enhance your discovery of your true self outlawed while alcohol (yes it is a drug) is legal when all it does is impair your judgement and kill your body?

Lately ive really been questioning myself... how can we as people determine if something is bad or if what someone is doing is bad without fully empathizing? you dont know the persons situation... I think we have all had situations when we feel like people are judging us unfairly because they dont understand... why cant we admit that we dont understand other peoples plights and thereby cannot judge them?